Disappointment

In the wake of disappointment we feel an emptiness, a void in our true nature of joy. When we internalize disappointment caused by life or the action or inaction of others it affects the way think. We become defensive, compromise our power and fall into some level of the “self-pity” trap. Riding the emotional roller coaster provokes within an immediate need to justify our feelings.    We become profoundly invested in our hurt which feeds the flames of anger and frustration. We get sloppy with our thoughts and words and lose our way. We move from our best self to a less desirable version. Eventually we become the ones who deeply disappoint ourselves.  

Life delivers unsolicited disappointment and throws us on our heels. We despair and our version of life becomes immediately limited. We think that nothing is working out for us and  go through the stages of disbelief, grief, bargaining, anger and finally acceptance. Through this painstaking process we climb an emotional path from denial to peace giving ourselves the necessary time to make the journey. We eventually forgive and move on when we know “ things happen to the best of us” and decide we are going to make the most of what is and find our path to joy again. There is no easy part of this process, nevertheless we make life what we want it to be regardless of the bad hand we may have been dealt. My experience has been that somehow we are mostly better off for the unfortunate situation and expand to new dimensions as a result.   

Conversely when the actions of others are at the root of our suffering blame can be squarely assigned. We assume we know so surely the intention of the offender and all the facts involved giving rise to our justification of emotional upheaval. How many times have we been hurt or disappointed then eventually come to find out that we may have jumped to conclusions and created much of the drama? Gathering the information before falling into the emotional trap gives us a path of clear thinking, space and an opportunity for fair assessment of the event at hand. The benefit of the doubt is sorely underrated, especially in our toxic world of never-ending immediate communication. Have you ever had to apologize after the smoke cleared, when the realization set in that your assumptions were slightly off? I know I have. Furthermore, imagine being able to divorce emotion from the equation ? What might the same circumstance feel like if we could be as objective as if we were uninvolved ? Would we come to know that unintentional actions are, much of the time, the cause of our pain and might we make an effort to see  another point of view, an impartial one? Consider how much less stressed we’d feel if we were stable in our personal power, responding from it rather than being re-active and defensive.   We decide!  We mould our perspective and experience in either compassion and love or anger and pain. Knowing we bear responsibility for our emotions and for our subsequent reactions we step into our strengths providing us with the power to own where we are, opening the door  to necessary growth.

As I now review my life I realize how many opportunities I let slip by because I was caught up in the trap of self-pity allowing myself to feel under appreciated, overlooked and victimized. From my experience each time I assumed to understand the mind of another I was slightly off, uninformed and acted defensive. I am even guilty of embellishing the facts as I saw them to make my case and gain the support of others. I chose much of the discomfort I found myself in and forfeited my power, until now! Now I take my lumps and do my best to see the whole picture. I free myself from assuming to know all the details, and do the best I can to keep my talk as impeccable as possible and avoid feeling insulted. While this is a daily work, much of the time faltering miserably, I push on till comes the day I am mindlessly living in complete self harmony regardless of what or who is throwing me the next curve ball...... 

Empowering Tip of the Day: No thing happens to us by accident. We are always on a path of expansion so take each situation as if it were the lesson of the day and use it for self transformation. It is empowering and life-changing. Watch as disappointment dissolves and freedom sets in.  If used mindfully a new and improved self emerges and the “well intentioned opinions and actions of others”  becomes powerless..... peace prevail and personal power is restored ....... 

The decision is ultimately ours to live in Pity or Power... what will it be? We can only be in one. 

Life is a journey, not a destination. 

Feel free to post your questions and comments. I look forward to hearing from you. Remember we are all on this journey growing and learning as we go, so your input will bring enlightenment to many. 

In Power, Peace & Love, 

Mary Ann